Neymar means happiness

Various studies reveal that sports fans behave strangely. There is the well-known ‘March Madness’ as American university basketball hits the news. It is marked by a 50% surge in vasectomies, with men using convalescence as a lame excuse to stay ‘glued to the box’. Then there are all those tone-deaf Britons and Greeks who are spellbound by ‘the ‘talent’ singing and jigging around at Anfield Road or at the OAKA Sports Hall.

A fascinating finding is that sports fans are often much happier than lesser mortals and that match results are less important than the idle chit-chat they give rise to. This helps them share things and strike up relations that makes them psychologically healthier. As a result, they suffer fewer depressions and enjoy greater self-respect. It also makes them feel they are backed up by the rest of the tribe — something that helps them stay in good mental health.

Many kinds of fans benefit from this effect. Men overcome their inhibitions and hug and kiss one another with gay abandon — 67% of football fans have wept at least once in a football stadium. Couples find an activity they can enjoy together. Pensioners find that watching sports makes them forget their cares.

We have been asked to evaluate from our marketing expertise the signing of Neymar Jr. Evaluation on the transfer fee Return On Investment (ROI), his position as the world’s biggest marketing money-spinner and his attributes in terms of charisma, willingness and cross over appeal.

We find that Neymar Jr. also represents a social marketing policy — his signing creates happiness. Over 350 media networks turned up at the public presentation and there are now 80 million Internet pages bearing his name — he is the footballer with the greatest presence in Instagram. Neymar gives rise to millions of conversations among fans, reduces depressions and leads to new outbursts of joy. Neymar will make fans happier. Perhaps The State should pay his transfer fees as part of a Benthamite social marketing policy seeking the greatest happiness of the greatest number.

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